Have you ever experienced trying to do something good in real life, but things turned out to go wrong instead?
For example, you tried meditation to calm your anger, but after meditating, you felt even more angry. Or maybe you tried to fix a relationship, a habit, or even a work project, but no matter how much effort you put in, it seemed to spiral out of control.
If you've ever experienced something like this, you are not alone. This is a common challenge many people face when they try to improve their lives, only to find that their efforts seem to backfire. In today's discussion, I want to share insights that I learned from a recent webinar I attended, which explained why our mind often holds us back from making progress, even when we are consciously trying to improve.
These ideas might resonate with you, especially if you've faced frustration when attempting to overcome personal challenges. By understanding how the mind works—particularly the subconscious mind—you can learn to navigate these roadblocks more effectively and create lasting change in your life.
Understanding the Subconscious Mind
The webinar emphasized that our subconscious mind is like a memory card. It stores all of our life experiences, both good and bad, and these experiences shape the way we respond to the world around us. The subconscious mind is incredibly powerful, influencing much of our behaviour, even when we're not aware of it.
As we go through life, the subconscious mind develops patterns based on our experiences. These patterns can be thought of as automatic responses or habits that we develop over time. They often serve a protective function, helping us avoid danger or discomfort. However, sometimes these patterns become outdated or maladaptive, holding us back instead of helping us move forward.
For example, consider how past experiences can shape our fears and reactions in the present.
Fear of Sleeping
One of the most striking examples shared during the webinar was the story of a woman who developed a deep fear of sleeping due to a traumatic experience in her childhood. When she was a child, she slept in a bunk bed, and one night, the upper bunk collapsed while she was sleeping on the bottom bunk. Although she wasn’t seriously hurt, the experience left a lasting imprint on her subconscious mind.
For 30 years after that incident, she struggled with insomnia and anxiety every time she tried to sleep. Even though she knew logically that the chances of a bed collapsing again were incredibly slim, her subconscious mind continued to associate sleep with danger. Every night, her body would go into a state of alertness, making it nearly impossible for her to relax and fall asleep.
This example highlights how the subconscious mind can hold onto old experiences and create patterns of fear or anxiety that persist long after the original event has passed. These patterns are not always rational, but they are deeply ingrained in the subconscious.
Fear of Dogs
Another example from the webinar involved a man who developed a strong fear of dogs after being bitten by one when he was a child. The bite itself wasn’t life-threatening, but it was painful and frightening, and the experience left a deep impression on his subconscious mind.
Even 20 years later, this man would feel intense fear whenever he encountered a dog, even if the dog was small, harmless, and on a leash. His logical mind knew that not all dogs were dangerous, but his subconscious mind continued to react as if every dog was a threat.
This kind of fear response is common in people who have experienced traumatic events, whether they involve animals, heights, water, or other situations. The subconscious mind’s primary goal is to protect us, and it does so by remembering past dangers and triggering a fear response whenever it perceives a similar threat.
My Personal Experience: Fear of Heights
I have my own story of how the subconscious mind can create lasting fears based on past experiences. When I was a child, I loved flying kites. One day, while I was on the roof of my house flying a kite, I lost my balance and fell. Fortunately, I wasn’t seriously injured, but the experience was terrifying.
From that day forward, I developed a fear of heights. Even though I wasn’t hurt in the fall, my subconscious mind associated heights with danger, and I began to avoid activities that involved being up high. For years, I couldn’t bring myself to fly a kite or stand on a high rooftop without feeling a sense of dread.
It wasn’t until I began working on rewiring my subconscious mind that I was able to slowly overcome this fear. But it took time, and it was a reminder of how powerful the subconscious mind can be in shaping our behaviour.
Why the Subconscious Mind Holds Us Back
The subconscious mind is designed to protect us from harm, both physical and emotional. It does this by creating automatic responses based on past experiences. When we encounter a situation that reminds us of a past danger or discomfort, the subconscious mind jumps into action, trying to keep us safe by triggering fear, anxiety, or resistance.
This is why, when we try to make positive changes in our lives—whether it’s meditating to calm our anger, exercising to improve our health, or working on a relationship—our subconscious mind can sometimes push back. It interprets these new behaviors as potential threats because they are unfamiliar, and it tries to keep us in our comfort zone, where it believes we are safe.
Trying to Calm Anger
Take, for example, the practice of meditation. Many people turn to meditation as a way to calm their minds and reduce feelings of anger or stress. However, it’s not uncommon for people to feel even more agitated when they first start meditating. This can be confusing and discouraging—after all, isn’t meditation supposed to make us feel more peaceful?
The reason this happens is that the subconscious mind is not always comfortable with change. When we sit down to meditate, we are often forced to confront emotions and thoughts that we’ve been suppressing or avoiding. This can trigger a defensive response from the subconscious mind, which may interpret these emotions as a threat.
In my own experience, when I first started meditating, I found myself becoming even more frustrated and angry than before. It felt as though the meditation was making things worse. But in reality, it was just my subconscious mind reacting to the unfamiliar process of calming down. Over time, as I continued to practice meditation, my mind began to relax, and the feelings of anger gradually subsided.
Abraham’s Teachings: The Power of Focus
The teachings of Abraham Hicks offer valuable insights into how we can work with our minds, rather than against them. Abraham’s central message is that our life experiences are shaped by where we place our focus. Whatever we focus on—whether it’s positive or negative—will attract more of that into our lives.
If we focus on problems, challenges, or fears, we are likely to attract more of those experiences. On the other hand, if we focus on things that make us feel good, we will attract more positive experiences. This is why it’s so important to be mindful of where we direct our attention.
In the context of meditation or any other self-improvement practice, it’s important to focus on the outcome we want, rather than the discomfort we might feel in the moment. When I started meditating, I made a conscious effort to focus on the peace and calm I wanted to experience, even when I was feeling frustrated or angry. Over time, this shift in focus helped me achieve the calmness I was seeking.
Conclusion: Working with the Subconscious Mind
If you're practicing meditation or the Law of Attraction and facing challenges, don't panic. It's just your subconscious mind trying to keep you safe. The key is to be patient with yourself and recognize that these roadblocks are a natural part of the process.
As you continue to practice and gently challenge the patterns in your subconscious mind, those old memories and fears will begin to shift. Over time, your desires and goals will start to manifest more easily in your life.
Remember, change takes time, and the subconscious mind needs time to adjust to new ways of thinking and being. If you stay consistent and keep focusing on the positive outcomes you want, you will begin to see progress.
If you want to learn basic meditation or start working on rewiring your subconscious mind, I encourage you to take small steps and be kind to yourself along the way and I hope this article has given you some valuable insights into how the mind works and how you can start creating positive change in your life.
